The drama is insatiable

The Simple Life wasn’t just your average reality show. Yes, the premise was very simple (pun intended) – throw some spoiled heirs into the jobs and lives of regular working-class people and see how they cope. But, when those heirs are both mega famous celebrities and best friends, it gets much more complicated…glorious, unrivalled drama complicated.

If there’s one noughties feud we remember more than any other, it was Paris and Nicole’s major fallout of 2005. While it was never formally confirmed by either party why they locked horns, the drama made for millions of eyeballs on the reality show they were still under contract to do.

THE SIMPLE LIFE PARIS HILTON NICOLE RICHIE ©FRAZER HARRISON/GETTY IMAGES

The feud led to them filming season four apart. Instead of touring the US together in a bus doing odd jobs, they each spent a week in a different family house competing for who could be the best housewife. The finale saw Paris confront Nicole with a ‘we have to talk’ text, to which Nicole answered ‘so talk’, and the show ended on a cliff-hanger. Honestly, KUWTK could never…

Of course, the feud made for all the more better TV when Paris and Nicole rekindled their friendship for the fifth and final season with the duo still close pals to this day. It’s a rollercoaster worthy of an Oscar, as far as we’re concerned.

The outfits

Seriously, 100 per cent of it should be filed under, ‘Burn it, but burn it in a sealed steel tank because it’s made out of such cheap material it would cause enough noxious fumes to suffocate us all’. From the diamante-encrusted denim and the satin-sheened tops, to the polyester rah-rah skirts and Von Dutch trucker caps, it’s everything we tried to wear in 2003 and then some. The worst part is, it’s all designer crap. That flat cap Paris buys in the very first episode? $800.

THE SIMPLE LIFE ©FRAZER HARRISON/GETTY IMAGESThe characters

Yes that’s right, we said characters. Because, contrary to popular belief, Paris and Nicole weren’t actually being themselves on the show. What?! A reality TV show with a distorted reality?! Never?! No, but seriously, Paris has confirmed on multiple occasions that producers asked her to play up to the ‘dumb blonde’ stereotype for entertainment purposes.

It’s a character she continued to play for the public and while some may not believe she was putting it on, the fact she has managed to stay in the public eye for more than 20 years for being ‘famous for being famous’ and catapulted that fame into owning 50 retail stores and 19 product lines says a lot.

The catchphrases

Our favourites include…

Sanansaaa sanansaa: An exclamation of joy for when Paris and/or Nicole are feeling happy and/or victorious. Echoed by both parties, its utterance is normally accompanied by a little dance.

That’s hot: Usually drawled slowly by Paris and/or Nicole to express their droll amusement at something that’s kind of cool but entirely unremarkable.

Loves it: Used to describe something that Paris or Nicole approve of. As in, ‘You have a boner? Loves it.’

The glorious inappropriateness of it all

Unsurprisingly, putting rich celebrity teens among us common folk made for some pretty outrageous TV. From the time Nicole helped a toddler stuff her ‘bra’, to the time they told a pre-teen ‘let’s get slutty’, to the time they asked a little old lady how big her son’s dick was… It was enough to send Middle Americans to early graves.

Just take a look at some fan favourites for yourself..

The celebrity cameos

We may all be well aware that Kim Kardashian was Paris Hilton’s assistant back in the day, but that also came with some reality TV credentials before Keeping Up With The Kardashians was a thing. Noughties Kim can be spotted organising Paris’s closet and telling her that if she doesn’t cover her hair on a trip to India she’ll ‘get shot or something’. ‘That’s hot,’ Paris replies. Like we said, gloriously outrageous.

In season four, the girls were regularly joined by their celebrity friends. In one episode, Ke$ha even makes an appearance (we presume this was before the infamous throwing up in Paris’s closet saga).

It’s so noughties it hurts (in a good way)

It’s not just the nostalgia of watching something you loved as a teen that makes The Simple Life so great, it’s the way it perfectly eclipses the noughties in a way like no other. The outfits and the basic premise of the show gave us a raw glimpse into Hollywood you would never see now. No slick LA homes, no filtered personalities, in fact, Paris and Nicole would probably even agree that they were a little too raw on the show. Not that we’re complaining…