The Good American founder welcomed her second baby, son Tatum, last July via surrogate

Khloé Kardashian is looking back on a difficult moment in her life as a mom.

Khloé Kardsahian with Dr. Thaïs Aliabadi and Mary Alice Haney for SHE MD. PHOTO: SHE MD

The Good American founder, 39, appears on this week’s episode of the SHE MD podcast with Dr. Thaïs Aliabadi and Mary Alice Haney. which premieres on Tuesday, May 5.

In an exclusive teaser shared with PEOPLE ahead of the release of the podcast, Kardashian, who is one of Dr. Aliabadi’s patients, describes her difficulty connecting with son Tatum before he was born in July 2023 via surrogate.

Discussing how she chose her son’s name, Kardashian says she had trouble with it because “I wasn’t carrying him, I didn’t really feel anything.” The pregnancy had been a closely guarded secret, one she kept even from her family, she adds.

“And then the first week of December, I found out that my ex was actually having a baby with somebody else,” she says of her ex, Tristan Thompson. “And I never told my family I did the transfer. I wasn’t going to tell anyone until it took, because I wanted to surprise everyone. So no one knew.”

Khloé Kardashian Admits It’s Taken ‘Months’ to Connect with Son Tatum: ‘Still Don’t Have a Complete Bond’

When news of Tatum’s impending arrival broke, Kardashian says she immediately felt under fire. “It devastated me because that’s when all the judgment and the knives were thrown at me,” she recalls.

The reality star had planned on one last bonding trip with her daughter True to Disneyland before the baby came. But then, she got a phone call from her OB-GYN saying it was time. Kardashian froze. “I remember, Dr. A. called and said she just had a checkup with my surrogate, and she said, ‘Khloé, we have to deliver within 24 hours,'” she recalls.

“The baby wasn’t due for another week or two and this was my last weekend with my daughter True,” she continues, “I just needed the weekend.”

“And so I go, ‘No, we can’t do this.’ And [Dr. A’s] like, ‘No, there’s no fluid in the sac. We need to do this.’ And I go, ‘I’m having a weekend. I’m having a weekend with True,'” Kardashian recalls. “And she goes, this is the Mother Theresa, she goes, ‘Okay,’ because I started hysterically crying because it wasn’t even about the weekend, it was about now this is real.”

“She goes, ‘You know what?’ I’ll deliver the baby. I’ll take the baby and you let me know when you’re ready to pick him up,’ ” Kardashian says. “And I was like, ‘What?’ I’m like, ‘Who does this? Who even offers that?’ And she did. And I remember I was like to myself, ‘Khloé, snap out of it. This is life. We got to do this.'”

The mom of two says that she was able to get through the moment in part due to the support of her sister Kim Kardashian, who came and supported her when the SKIMS founder realized what she was going through.

In an episode of The Kardashians season 3, Khloé opened up about her experience with Tatum while talking to mom Kris Jenner.

“Compare it to True and him, it’s a different experience,” Khloé admitted. “The connection … took days with True. With him, it’s taking months and we still don’t have a complete bond.”

She admitted to feeling guilty about her struggles and said she questions “why isn’t it the same?”

Today, she says on the SHE MD podcast, “I am obsessed with Tatum now, of course.” And opening up about her experience with surrogacy has helped.

“Anyone going through surrogacy, don’t compare yourself to somebody else’s journey,” she says, reflecting on how her experience differed from Kim’s. “I think it is such an incredible blessing that we have this option and I’m so grateful for the women out there who are giving up their bodies to carry someone else’s baby to then give it back to their mother. It’s such a beautiful thing. But give yourself grace. Give yourself patience.”