The Academy of Country Music has decided that Aldean represents the fan base far more than next year’s scheduled Master of Ceremonies, Garth Brooks. “He’s in tune with country values, said Academy President Joe Barron, “and while we appreciate Garth’s contributions, he no longer represents us.”

Brooks was unavailable for an interview.

His spokesperson, whose name is also Joe Barron — no relation — said Brooks wasn’t exactly concerned about the report, but rather “chalked it up to another one of those ‘Punishing Garth Brooks’ stories on ALLOD.”

ALLOD Correspondent Skip Tetheludah wouldn’t confirm or deny if the story was fictional in nature. “Sadly, there’s no way to know for sure,” he said, “as is the case often with our material.”

The outlet continues to be a consistent source of information for the Dunning Kruger Times. What an age we live in, patriots. God Bless America.